The Crescent - Weekly Celebrity Gossip Podcast

Joining us in our amazing lives this week is Jim Fleeting > we gasbagging all about X Factor, Dynamite SEX, Drugs and birthdays > ALSO > Cheryl FIGHTS for marriage as we reveal what the three little words are on the front of her Album > Amy Whineclaart's NEW BIG TITS >  DAN-YLE starting on the Essex (god help him) > Fatterly Cassidy Happily Snackerly > REAL ACTUAL celeb story from Jim about Ulrika Johnson > YOU are the disablist one NOT ME > AND > Drugs ATE someone's face (don't worry they not famous person)...

I remembered to cue up a song this week as well - playing out w 'Animal Lover' by Hemme Fatale > only 30 seconds tho or the PRS motherfuckers will be on our case.

OH OH OH > here is the picture of Jordan's street wee puddle of piss that I refer to about 10 minutes in:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4458661&id=701205294

...and here is what is on at the Red Rose Comedy club this week:

DAVE THOMPSON, PAUL KERENSA, YIANNI AGISILAOU, mc: Mike O'Donovan 

To be on it / in it next week > tag tweets with #celebz or email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

TTFN you beautiful, beautiful bastards x x x

...well I say professional sounding but I did forget to turn Wickers mic on until half way through > HOWEVER > Happy Halowe'en you beauties > SO > DID Peter Andre get off with his dog? > K-FAT has lost a bit of weight but is still Fatter than me > Jordan and kids hallowe'en photoshoot special > Donatella Vercace and Lindsey Lohan - TWINS > how many hob nobs can Rik Waller eat in a day? > George Clooney does or doesn't look like someones pervy old dad - discuss > is WILD SEX safe? > AND > Ronan says Boyzone WILL carry on without Steven *PHEW* > The other things I forgot to do was get breaking news off Gossip feast, queue a song up for the end and plug The Red Rose Comedy Club (this week is SCOTT CAPURRO, AARON COUNTER, SPECIAL GUEST - MAGNUS BETNER, mc: Mike O'Donovan)

milk milk lemonade
round the corner chocklits made

> ps 15 minutes in I realise that only one mic is on and sort it out.

JACKPOT > there are no fat celebz this week even NATCAS FATCAS is THINCAS > Kelly Osbourn "thinest ever without drugs" (wowowowow) > we debating if or how Kater and Peatee's kids are all fucked up and whose fault it is (a bit like the Write stuff or something but more judgmental and less advised) > Wicker must choose her new boyf -  Peter Andre OR a chav what lives in  tent > Crispin's new bird is either Stacey or Keisha ~ whoever emails in first >  TPT TPT (you have to listen to find out what that is) > Wicker also well lezzy for Pamala Anderson > SEX O'CLOCK - what time does your rape alarm go off? > RIP Kanyee West you were a gay fish > Whitney wazza lezza beanz - says Bobby Brooon > housten we have a semi > next week we might have a song at the end AND we MIGHT have proper sound...

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

she had so many children her cunt fell off.

>>>>>message ends<<<<<

At the Red Rose comedy Club this Week:

STEPHEN CARLIN, DANIEL RIGBY, TIFFANY STEVENSON, ELI SILVERMAN

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=140862086414&index=1

Gossip is the new black (Black Barbie that is) > Nate Lewin is on the sofa spittin out some proper bitchy shit about > La Roux and her daft Sporticus hair > Nicola Roberts as The Corpse Bride > Posh spice ZERO CALORIE FISH AND CHIPS > facebook addict's kid asleeps in a plate of chips *bless* > Danni Minogue's botox *JUSTIFIED* > and SOMEONE needs to have a word with themselves about their top shop dress > Also I done a RAP in the style of Alisha Dixon and I tried to do a link at the end for The Red Rose Comedy Club but i fucked it up a bit so here is a link to thier facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=124486546840&ref=ts

OI > email us celeb stories and shit > crispin@sinktherock.org

If you believe in life after love - listen to this podcast.

celebz celebz celebz > THIS WEEK > Katie Price divorce party bore > Peter Andre = living joke > Jamie hince fancy dress FAIL > we remind ourselves and you that Take That are now and were always, total shit > and try and remember if any of them are gay > Breaking news from GossipFeast and twitter via @celebwhisperer and @CelebrityDB > Simon Cowel explains a VAGINA to his mum > Relationship advice from Jordan (lol) > Nicole Ritchy rear ended > OMG Jennifer Ellison's GIANT SIZED TITS - terrifying > Top Tips > Dynamite sex > and an interesting theory on the common refraction of light into the visible spectrum from the 'Angel Whisperer'.

I like you - you've got a hot face, can I touch your hot face?

in our AMAZIN celebrity gossip podcast this week we are fucking with your minds > we did the podacast in the MORNING > usual Kater and peatee shit - they arguing about who is still in love with who now - THE COCKS > Micha Barton Canadian tux and Croyden facelift > Some them bitches all specially thin for London fashion week > Kimberly walsh big curvy FACE > Amy Wineclaart's  SICK faith healer weirdo Dr. Creepyhands > 2 in the goo one in the poo > £80 a week COKE HABIT > A well fat SEX kitten in lacey underwear > AND >  A lady with a 20 STONE BUM > could you ask for more? could you? really? really really really?

AMAZE TOP DRAW photo shoots in OK magazine > proper mental > #1 Jordan with that dressage bloke and his old wife in a hayloft raking up horse shit > AND > #2 Darren Day as all action heros EVER > ALSO > Sugababes breakup - tears before bedtime > Cheryl's fucking hair is THE most important thing > NATCAS lovely steamboat romp shocker > little row about who is not listening to who talking about films > Mischa 'cuckoo' Barton latest little show up job > Nikesh's new secret celeb neighbor > at last we remembered to get some breaking news from GossipFeast.com > and SOMEONE sprayed whiped cream on someoone's ladybits > a knife, a fork, a bottle and a cork - that's the way to spell New York - I really love you guys ~ you are like, SO AMAZIN.

OH CRUMBS > Bit of Kate Garraways tit almost fell off > Dani Minogue in never ending story necklace AND WAR film suicide > COATHANGER neck celebz revealed > Pete's divorce day magazine tour> Team Halliwell LOL > how to tell if your teenage kid is snorting coke > we are BOTH lezzy for Kelly Brooke > Jack Tweed in the fraggle wing > how to cut up cheesecake AND > I found the button on garage band that makes it the same volume as other podcasts...

We got a theme tune > Wicker hadn't heard it > it went on too long > dunno if it really worked out > in celeb gossip land > Brian (The Big Faced Irish Giant) wants his kids back off council chops > all the Strictly Come Dancing lot are already fucking each other it would seem - oh no sorry that was just triksy bullshit > MAN FACTS > Lions are the only cats that cant purr backwards > How Fergie (Princess of Peas not Duchess of Kent) stays 'down to earth' > NATCAS sausage & binbag outfit > and > SOMEONE ate a KIT-KAT - I forget who...

Special Guest is Matt Oxborrow > Jordan goes out with Man-E-Faces from HE-Man also the star of a film called KILLABITCH (gangsta film not pr0n) > NATCAS prediction VERIFIED > Peter Andre goes back in time to the 80s > KERRY - same story as last week > MORE FROM Lady GaGa's cock > We find out who was THE WORST out of Hollyoaks > Cedric Diggory's French Piano dream (bless) > chicken scratchings > Find out who's Strictly cum Dancins partner is the result of some UNHOLY union between David Guest and Roger Moore > AND THEN SOME...

Kerry is celebrity gossip queen this week - what with all her coke sniffin, accountant bashin and her life coaches being them two out of Dollar > ALSO > WHO set up the secret camera in her bog? > I don't think we said much about Kater and Peatee - OH 'cept that Wicker predicts Pete will be the new face of Iceland > Jenifer Love Hewit = MASSIVE FATTY > Cher's ladyman son (again) > Britneys AMAZIN Diet of (gasp) no junk food > Cat Slater's crisp bag tits > Wicker's NATCAS prediction > OH YEAH > AND > Ricky Martin - 1/2 rice 1/2 chips - WHO KNEW?

SO THEN... Wicker is lezzy for Kelly Brook > Posh gets out some old chicken bones and pretending that it is her real arm - Britney is in great shape or terrible shape dependant on whether she is shooting an ad or getting the milk in > we also discuss trapping Kate Moss in a cage and feeding her Dixy Chicken hot wings > Cheryl's Barnet gets a bit of a slaggin but not from us (<3 Cheryl) > we tried eatin transformer snacks live on air > Pete visits new magazine BLESS HIM > and Lady GaGa's cock made it to the glossies at last... well thank fuck for that eh?

well well well ~ we were in a terrible rush and it's only 17 minutes long BUT we still found time to talk about Kerry's big shiny old face and her Mark's big twatty cardigan > NatCas in a gossip magazine article that is not weight related (ZOMFG) > What else? ummm OH > Jordan's scrotum tits are out again and Peter Andre cant take her seriously so he got his tits out as well > J-LO Grapefruit Fat Bum > Kate Moss/ Katherine Heigel VODKA diet > it's OVER between Crispin and Lily Allen AND we're not going to Vanessa Hudgen's 21st Birthday because she is a MEGABITCH

This week Crispin is accidently dressed up like a twat > we Gossip about Kerry Katona's bench-press face > Peter Fucking Andre's TEAM CHILDREN T-shirt (the wanker) > Madonna's fucked up veiny sparrow-arms PUKE > Connie Huq's panty flash and some other stuff too... A weeks worth or celebrity gossip in 38 minutes (cor)

SPecial guest this week is Davey Porter who run tings at Headphones off (Shoreditch indie night) CELEBRITY GOSSIP ABOUT all sorts > some gossip about Tom Cruis' wrestling holds on posh spice > Jordan UNRAVELS > a WORLD EXCLUSIVE about something - I forget what... > Natalie Portman DEAD > George Clooney DEAD > Jeff Goldblum DEAD > it went on for too long because we forgot to look at the time BUT we do talk about training hamsters to watch you have sex... touch me

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