Funny Celebrity Gossip Podcast - The Crescent

Special Guest is Matt Oxborrow > Jordan goes out with Man-E-Faces from HE-Man also the star of a film called KILLABITCH (gangsta film not pr0n) > NATCAS prediction VERIFIED > Peter Andre goes back in time to the 80s > KERRY - same story as last week > MORE FROM Lady GaGa's cock > We find out who was THE WORST out of Hollyoaks > Cedric Diggory's French Piano dream (bless) > chicken scratchings > Find out who's Strictly cum Dancins partner is the result of some UNHOLY union between David Guest and Roger Moore > AND THEN SOME...

Kerry is celebrity gossip queen this week - what with all her coke sniffin, accountant bashin and her life coaches being them two out of Dollar > ALSO > WHO set up the secret camera in her bog? > I don't think we said much about Kater and Peatee - OH 'cept that Wicker predicts Pete will be the new face of Iceland > Jenifer Love Hewit = MASSIVE FATTY > Cher's ladyman son (again) > Britneys AMAZIN Diet of (gasp) no junk food > Cat Slater's crisp bag tits > Wicker's NATCAS prediction > OH YEAH > AND > Ricky Martin - 1/2 rice 1/2 chips - WHO KNEW?

SO THEN... Wicker is lezzy for Kelly Brook > Posh gets out some old chicken bones and pretending that it is her real arm - Britney is in great shape or terrible shape dependant on whether she is shooting an ad or getting the milk in > we also discuss trapping Kate Moss in a cage and feeding her Dixy Chicken hot wings > Cheryl's Barnet gets a bit of a slaggin but not from us (<3 Cheryl) > we tried eatin transformer snacks live on air > Pete visits new magazine BLESS HIM > and Lady GaGa's cock made it to the glossies at last... well thank fuck for that eh?

well well well ~ we were in a terrible rush and it's only 17 minutes long BUT we still found time to talk about Kerry's big shiny old face and her Mark's big twatty cardigan > NatCas in a gossip magazine article that is not weight related (ZOMFG) > What else? ummm OH > Jordan's scrotum tits are out again and Peter Andre cant take her seriously so he got his tits out as well > J-LO Grapefruit Fat Bum > Kate Moss/ Katherine Heigel VODKA diet > it's OVER between Crispin and Lily Allen AND we're not going to Vanessa Hudgen's 21st Birthday because she is a MEGABITCH

This week Crispin is accidently dressed up like a twat > we Gossip about Kerry Katona's bench-press face > Peter Fucking Andre's TEAM CHILDREN T-shirt (the wanker) > Madonna's fucked up veiny sparrow-arms PUKE > Connie Huq's panty flash and some other stuff too... A weeks worth or celebrity gossip in 38 minutes (cor)

SPecial guest this week is Davey Porter who run tings at Headphones off (Shoreditch indie night) CELEBRITY GOSSIP ABOUT all sorts > some gossip about Tom Cruis' wrestling holds on posh spice > Jordan UNRAVELS > a WORLD EXCLUSIVE about something - I forget what... > Natalie Portman DEAD > George Clooney DEAD > Jeff Goldblum DEAD > it went on for too long because we forgot to look at the time BUT we do talk about training hamsters to watch you have sex... touch me

I bought Grazia (£1.95 - I know right?) because Bernard said Harry Potters bird was in it and then forgot to even mention it > Poor ol' Micha Barton has been taken to the loony bin [CUCKOO] > The secret to looking like Demi Moore when you are like 1/2 a century old REVEALED > K&P (snore) > Pussy cat dolls bird talks shit to someone > Steve Jones and the indestructible child > Whitney Houston looking bit less like a crack-bag > A ROD? > DAN RAD? > Jessica Simpson's Barbie & Ken party FAIL > AND who eats the middle out of bagels...
P.S. Click this link to see Lady mouthing the words of a Whitney Houston song to a stuffed koala blinking in time to the orchestral hits http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZYiIt94zK0

Whats Happen then in celebrity land? WELL > Kerry Katona has THE best boyf ever he is by no means a fat ugly controlling prick > MORE Kater and Peatee crying on TV and all that (are you bothered? - could you care less?) > ALSO Rhiana's CLONE > Elastic band high heels and bog roll cutlery holders > Duncan from blue comes out as half rice half chips > WATTAGWAAN at teh Ross family Christmas > Gordon Brown's botox SHOCKER > Jack 'one suit' tweed > Teh Rooney's KFC heartache > oh AND Peatee & Shunthole (Chantelle) they 'gettin it AWWN - or what? - it's never too late if you care enough x

Peatee and her with the tits - Chantelle have been out on a date and it is definitely not bullshit > Cheryl Cole's tits ~ well 70% of them > We laughing at: Beyonce's little sisters camel toe > Mischa Barton's fat face at Harrod's > Love It's Carly at fat camp & Peter Andre on twitter > Oh yeah > ALSO would you adam and eve it? Natalie ‘I'm happy fat’ Cassidy has lost weight again >> KEEP IT INANE my gossip ridden brothers and sisters x

well who'd have thought it? MJ went and died > luckily there is other things going on in celebrity gossip and real life > Kerry is well fat like her council estate sebaceous mum > Posh and Backs are 10 > more shit slinging from Kater and Peatee > Lady Gaga's vagine on display > DIY super glue sex change > AND someone who sniffed thier husband's poo right up their nose to get over a super-bug

Kater and Peatee are right back atchah - claiming untold column inches this week > Katie is playing the saintly mum card, going to Ibiza, getting pissed up out of her face, showing everyone her pants > and well getting off with a bloke (who can only be described as "A BIG GAY") - Peter on the other hand has gone batshit party animal crazy and took the kids to see his mum and done a little cry for the papers. In other news > SOME STUFF.... ummm > oh > Posh's FOUR boob jobs (was it really worth it?) > the difference between David Beckham and Orlando Bloom > and teh worst thing a salmon has ever done drunk was eat ice-cream drunk... - word to your mother x

Special guest this week is MAIREAD - we talkin' about all that celebrity gossip shit > bathroom gossip from the DISCO BITCH homecoming gig > transatlantic-eurotrash gossip about Ronaldo and Paris > one arm gossip bowt Jade's old lezzy mum > who fat? > who thin? > who care?

IT'S TRUE > Jordan and Peter are back to an acceptable level of column inches > Also we do a laugh at Ronaldo's stiffy (well semi really) > Beth Ditto Vs Katey Perry ( I know who my money is on) > AND real life celeb spottin from listeners via facebook and www.sinktherock.org/thecrescent > dey do do don't dey do?

We don't even have a telly but we are still talking about telly celebrities > both real (Katie and Peter, Dot Cotton etc) and pretend (Big Brother, BGT and the Fucking Apprentice) > also Wicker finds out who the celebrity was what we saw at the Secret Underground Rebel Bingo. - AND Tell us about your celebrity encounters on our facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Crescent/85913403666 or our homepage http://www.sinktherock.org/thecrescent c'mon > you know you wanna...

BANG > this week we thought we had loads of celebrity gossip to talk about on the podcast > turns out we were swept away with bright colours and BIG HEADLINES > Katie and Peter (obv) KATIEGATE SEXTAPE? > celebrities smokin fags > Jodie marsh in Photoshop bodybuilding HORROR and Brangelina back together and pregnant?

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