Funny Celebrity Gossip Podcast - The Crescent

Episode 24 - BAFTA Award Nominated Celebrity Gossip

crispin read — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 21:59:19 GMT

Special Guest is Matt Oxborrow > Jordan goes out with Man-E-Faces from HE-Man also the star of a film called KILLABITCH (gangsta film not pr0n) > NATCAS prediction VERIFIED > Peter Andre goes back in time to the 80s > KERRY - same story as last week > MORE FROM Lady GaGa's cock > We find out who was THE WORST out of Hollyoaks > Cedric Diggory's French Piano dream (bless) > chicken scratchings > Find out who's Strictly cum Dancins partner is the result of some UNHOLY union between David Guest and Roger Moore > AND THEN SOME...

Episode 23 - Celebrity gossip podcast > accidentally in two parts - seamlessly joined with the combined magics of technology and love...

crispin read — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:27:31 GMT

Kerry is celebrity gossip queen this week - what with all her coke sniffin, accountant bashin and her life coaches being them two out of Dollar > ALSO > WHO set up the secret camera in her bog? > I don't think we said much about Kater and Peatee - OH 'cept that Wicker predicts Pete will be the new face of Iceland > Jenifer Love Hewit = MASSIVE FATTY > Cher's ladyman son (again) > Britneys AMAZIN Diet of (gasp) no junk food > Cat Slater's crisp bag tits > Wicker's NATCAS prediction > OH YEAH > AND > Ricky Martin - 1/2 rice 1/2 chips - WHO KNEW?

Episode 22 - ahem celebritahz FAT > celebritahz THIN > celebrity gossip what is proper 'mazin

crispin read — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 22:44:32 GMT

SO THEN... Wicker is lezzy for Kelly Brook > Posh gets out some old chicken bones and pretending that it is her real arm - Britney is in great shape or terrible shape dependant on whether she is shooting an ad or getting the milk in > we also discuss trapping Kate Moss in a cage and feeding her Dixy Chicken hot wings > Cheryl's Barnet gets a bit of a slaggin but not from us (<3 Cheryl) > we tried eatin transformer snacks live on air > Pete visits new magazine BLESS HIM > and Lady GaGa's cock made it to the glossies at last... well thank fuck for that eh?

Episode 21 - celebrity gossip in a bit of a rush

crispin read — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:49:01 GMT

well well well ~ we were in a terrible rush and it's only 17 minutes long BUT we still found time to talk about Kerry's big shiny old face and her Mark's big twatty cardigan > NatCas in a gossip magazine article that is not weight related (ZOMFG) > What else? ummm OH > Jordan's scrotum tits are out again and Peter Andre cant take her seriously so he got his tits out as well > J-LO Grapefruit Fat Bum > Kate Moss/ Katherine Heigel VODKA diet > it's OVER between Crispin and Lily Allen AND we're not going to Vanessa Hudgen's 21st Birthday because she is a MEGABITCH

Episode 20 - Celebrity Gossip salsa

crispin read — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 09:55:13 GMT

This week Crispin is accidently dressed up like a twat > we Gossip about Kerry Katona's bench-press face > Peter Fucking Andre's TEAM CHILDREN T-shirt (the wanker) > Madonna's fucked up veiny sparrow-arms PUKE > Connie Huq's panty flash and some other stuff too... A weeks worth or celebrity gossip in 38 minutes (cor)

Episode 19 - headphones off celebrity gossip

crispin read — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 20:33:45 GMT

SPecial guest this week is Davey Porter who run tings at Headphones off (Shoreditch indie night) CELEBRITY GOSSIP ABOUT all sorts > some gossip about Tom Cruis' wrestling holds on posh spice > Jordan UNRAVELS > a WORLD EXCLUSIVE about something - I forget what... > Natalie Portman DEAD > George Clooney DEAD > Jeff Goldblum DEAD > it went on for too long because we forgot to look at the time BUT we do talk about training hamsters to watch you have sex... touch me

Episode 18 - Celebrities are thin again > who would have thought it?

crispin read — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 23:14:10 GMT

I bought Grazia (£1.95 - I know right?) because Bernard said Harry Potters bird was in it and then forgot to even mention it > Poor ol' Micha Barton has been taken to the loony bin [CUCKOO] > The secret to looking like Demi Moore when you are like 1/2 a century old REVEALED > K&P (snore) > Pussy cat dolls bird talks shit to someone > Steve Jones and the indestructible child > Whitney Houston looking bit less like a crack-bag > A ROD? > DAN RAD? > Jessica Simpson's Barbie & Ken party FAIL > AND who eats the middle out of bagels... P.S. Click this link to see Lady mouthing the words of a Whitney Houston song to a stuffed koala blinking in time to the orchestral hits http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZYiIt94zK0

Episode 17 - Emma Vs Celebrity Gossip > 'bing bing' round ONE

crispin read — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 23:06:48 GMT

Whats Happen then in celebrity land? WELL > Kerry Katona has THE best boyf ever he is by no means a fat ugly controlling prick > MORE Kater and Peatee crying on TV and all that (are you bothered? - could you care less?) > ALSO Rhiana's CLONE > Elastic band high heels and bog roll cutlery holders > Duncan from blue comes out as half rice half chips > WATTAGWAAN at teh Ross family Christmas > Gordon Brown's botox SHOCKER > Jack 'one suit' tweed > Teh Rooney's KFC heartache > oh AND Peatee & Shunthole (Chantelle) they 'gettin it AWWN - or what? - it's never too late if you care enough x

Episode 16 - Half hour special > feed me celebrity gossip

crispin read — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 23:21:34 GMT

Peatee and her with the tits - Chantelle have been out on a date and it is definitely not bullshit > Cheryl Cole's tits ~ well 70% of them > We laughing at: Beyonce's little sisters camel toe > Mischa Barton's fat face at Harrod's > Love It's Carly at fat camp & Peter Andre on twitter > Oh yeah > ALSO would you adam and eve it? Natalie ‘I'm happy fat’ Cassidy has lost weight again >> KEEP IT INANE my gossip ridden brothers and sisters x

Episode 15 - Celebrity gossip > pilot > glstonbury > sex party ...and things

crispin read — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 14:47:22 GMT

well who'd have thought it? MJ went and died > luckily there is other things going on in celebrity gossip and real life > Kerry is well fat like her council estate sebaceous mum > Posh and Backs are 10 > more shit slinging from Kater and Peatee > Lady Gaga's vagine on display > DIY super glue sex change > AND someone who sniffed thier husband's poo right up their nose to get over a super-bug

Episode 14 - more Kater and Peatee anyone?

crispin read — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:18:34 GMT

Kater and Peatee are right back atchah - claiming untold column inches this week > Katie is playing the saintly mum card, going to Ibiza, getting pissed up out of her face, showing everyone her pants > and well getting off with a bloke (who can only be described as "A BIG GAY") - Peter on the other hand has gone batshit party animal crazy and took the kids to see his mum and done a little cry for the papers. In other news > SOME STUFF.... ummm > oh > Posh's FOUR boob jobs (was it really worth it?) > the difference between David Beckham and Orlando Bloom > and teh worst thing a salmon has ever done drunk was eat ice-cream drunk... - word to your mother x

Episode 13 - Mairead brings extra magazines and a more comprehensive grasp of celebrity gossip

crispin read — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:11:14 GMT

Special guest this week is MAIREAD - we talkin' about all that celebrity gossip shit > bathroom gossip from the DISCO BITCH homecoming gig > transatlantic-eurotrash gossip about Ronaldo and Paris > one arm gossip bowt Jade's old lezzy mum > who fat? > who thin? > who care?

Episode 12 - kater and peatee is dead

crispin read — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 19:11:06 GMT

IT'S TRUE > Jordan and Peter are back to an acceptable level of column inches > Also we do a laugh at Ronaldo's stiffy (well semi really) > Beth Ditto Vs Katey Perry ( I know who my money is on) > AND real life celeb spottin from listeners via facebook and www.sinktherock.org/thecrescent > dey do do don't dey do?

Episode 11 - It's mostly about the telly

crispin read — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:14:35 GMT

We don't even have a telly but we are still talking about telly celebrities > both real (Katie and Peter, Dot Cotton etc) and pretend (Big Brother, BGT and the Fucking Apprentice) > also Wicker finds out who the celebrity was what we saw at the Secret Underground Rebel Bingo. - AND Tell us about your celebrity encounters on our facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Crescent/85913403666 or our homepage http://www.sinktherock.org/thecrescent c'mon > you know you wanna...

Episode 10 - The Magazines LIED

crispin read — Thu, 28 May 2009 16:00:09 GMT

BANG > this week we thought we had loads of celebrity gossip to talk about on the podcast > turns out we were swept away with bright colours and BIG HEADLINES > Katie and Peter (obv) KATIEGATE SEXTAPE? > celebrities smokin fags > Jodie marsh in Photoshop bodybuilding HORROR and Brangelina back together and pregnant?

Episode 9 - Crispin has a friend over to play and is showing off

crispin read — Thu, 21 May 2009 09:51:16 GMT

More shit on Kater and Peatee - IS IT JUST A PUBLICITY STUNT? > our special guest is poetry phd student Paul Stanbridge and he gives us a critique on Peter Andre's new lyrics. ALSO > Seal and Heidi's trailer trash Wedding > Pregnant is the new fat > and Crispin is DEFINITELY well in there with Lily Allen

Episode 8 - we got more news than the mag we reviewin > BELIEVE

crispin read — Wed, 13 May 2009 22:12:49 GMT

YOU WHAT? Peatee and Kater gone done a split-up innit - who saw that one coming? Kate Moss is a REAL woman with her REAL tits out > Eurovision WTF > Wicker's broken foot and Crispin's real life celebrity encounters. ALSO > a couple who cant fuck because they got no riddim and Sharon Osbourne is the new best Agony Aunt in magazine world.

Episode 7 - Where are they now? - (We did this one sober)

crispin read — Thu, 07 May 2009 11:49:29 GMT

Where are they now? ...in heat apparently. People from saved by the Bell and the Cosby show and shit > ONE OF THEM DOES PORN NOW (omg). Relationship ups and downs for Tom, Katie, Katie, Peter, Posh, Becks, Kerry, her bloke wotsit, fat face - you know MARK that's it - some good stuff in the letters but i neglected to point out the oxymoron when Love It referred to someone's '32AA jugs'.

Episode 6 - Drink yerself thinner > celeb style

crispin read — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:58:51 GMT

Drink to be thin > it's 'ALL THE RAGE', lots of celebs this week are lonely and drunk >>> NatCas update >>> childhood memories, imaginary friends, 6 degrees of separation(why wicker is secretly famous)

Episode 5 - oh the sound has gone back to shit

crispin read — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 23:09:24 GMT

beach bodies? you what? I SAID beach bodies . .. ALSO - > what celebz will look like when they old (courtesy of potato shop),Dr. Pam's sex confidential is 'da bomb' and Eva thingy thing from Disparate Housclaarts is FAT and THIN in the same magazine ~ I know right? omfgwtf? SOTW > betrayed by my fiance SO I CUT OF HIS LEGS

Episode 4 - NOW we have a mic

crispin read — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 21:59:16 GMT

Davey came round and lent us a condenser mic and had us put duvets up on the walls so it sounds less like we are in a toilet. > - in celeb werld: everyone has split up and all the fat people are happy being fat (well one at least) lots of people have big faces and we REJECT Hello magazine > guest publication this week was The Sun - it had a quiz in it about who was still married in celebritah land and we done it. (don't LIE to yourself GANDALF)

Episode 3 - Crispin sulks Wicker does not

crispin read — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 22:00:12 GMT

This week Crispin was moody except not in real terms - just in his head. Wicker got the pick of the bunch... the Hoff baring his soul, 3yr old Kerry Katona smoking A Fag, and real lives featuring couples who like to dress as bunnies and do their rude things - 'specially for easter.. We learned all about Goldie's body and artistic soul, and afters Crispin made a lovely collage out of all the magazines which makes for amusing viewing - regard le picture..

Episode 2 - biddy mags OCD diets and S Club tits

crispin read — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:21:58 GMT

This week we got 6 magazines (oh yeah) - Wicker went proper off on one with older generation diets and the Loose Women, Crisp got left with Britney's muffin top and S-Club Jo's new 'mazin bobs. Also featuring sexy farting and exploding legs... but that's just how we roll - you feel me?

Episode 1 - well 4 really but we cocked up the first three

crispin read — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 12:54:18 GMT

First come first served this is how it is - Jade is dead and some people are dancing on eyes - also under our inspection is dead lady from east enders/ are you being served Wendy Richards - PLUS > Paris Hilton, Peter and Katie, Mickey Rourke, Pamela Anderson's tit (the left one) and the woman whose feet are so fat she can walk up buildings - you know > all that shit. Love it live it love it > you know it makes sense x ps yes, I was drunk when i wrote this...